Day 53

Okay, enough is enough! Matt got on the scale this afternoon and weighed 179!!! He is dropping pounds DAILY! I am REALLY starting to be able to tell it now too, although he says he still can't see a very big difference! It's amazing how much weight we really could stand to lose. He (and I) thought for sure that if he got down to about 185, he'd be just perfect. But look at him now...he's at 179 and still losing! Even though my goal is 130 (and I am 8 pounds from it)--I would really like to weigh about 115-120 if the truth be told.
Anyway, ironically after that big paragraph about weight, I am going to really try to talk less about our weights. Matt said to me tonight, "I wish you'd stop talking about it all the time, you're gonna make the kids think that's all that matters in life." That really hit me hard. I don't want my kids growing up like me...(not how I grew up but how I THOUGHT all throughout my pre-teen and teen years). I have been counting calories and watching my weight since I was about 12 I believe. Sad, huh? Of course, that's not to say that I've always done well...but I've never stopped worrying about it all the time. I don't want Brooklyn thinking that her value, her worth comes from a number she sees on the scale. I want her to understand the importance of being healthy...that's all.
Anyhow, today was productive. After the kids went to gymnastics and we did our school time, we went outside and cleaned the van-inside and out. First we hand washed it, then shammied it off. Then I took out the captains seats and vacuumed the whole thing out and then got a bucket of soapy water, an old toothbrush and a rag and scrubbed the insides!! After that we swam for a bit and then cooked dinner. After I washed the dishes, it was time for Kenpo X. I was REALLY not in the mood for it tonight...but I put my feelings aside and put on my tennis shoes instead. I am SO GLAD it's over with now! ha ha I've been waiting all day for this moment...when I finally get to get in bed and sleep! ahhhh....
Here's todays food intake:
Breakfast: Kashi oatmeal with a sprinkling of raisens and walnuts, small choc. protein shake
Snack: Light string cheese
Lunch: 1 slice light WW bread, low-fat mayo, 1/2 left over steak from last night, 10 puff cheetos, fresh pineapple, 1 bite of a protein bar (needed a taste of chocolate!)
Snack: 100% Frozen fruit popscicle
Dinner: Oven-baked chicken, fresh green beans pomodoro, light mashed potatoes, 1 more bite of protein bar (still craving chocolate)

Matt said to me yesterday regarding him losing more weight than me: "ya, but you probably eat more than I do." and you know what...he's probably right. I do eat a LOT...so I'm trying to work on that. Normally I would have had something before bed tonight, especially since I've been really wanting something sweet...but I decided to skip it and just go to bed hungry.
OKay, well, as usual, I am getting super sleepy so I better end this. Goodnight all!!