Is it EVER enough????

Okay, I'm frustrated. I really don't have a lot of time but I need to "vent" this out. So...I finally got a new battery for my stupid scale. Therefore, you can imagine why I'm mad.

Anyway, what I really want to scream is "Is it EVER enough?"

First, I tried to start working out more. I started P90X again and pretty much began DAILY (except for Sunday's) workouts again. Hard, intense, serious workouts.

Secondly, I started making up my weekly meal plans and sticking to them TO A TEE. Monday-Friday--no dessert, whole grains, raw veggies, fresh fruits, lean meats, only water to drink.

The last and final thing I have YET to do is give up my "weekend eating habits" which involve a lot of unhealthy eating out (at least 2-3 times). If I'm at home, I still eat good. If we go out though, I'm likely to indulge in a few chips and queso, a fried something and/ or possibly a sugary drink. BUT JIMMINY CHRISTMAS--a girl's gotta LIVE A LITTLE!!!

Apparently my body is not going to let go of another stinking pound unless I commit to this 100% of the time though. Which really sucks. Because I'm not sure I want it THAT bad. I want it. Oh yes..I want it SO SO MUCH. But...do I want it enough to decline going to On the Border and using my "free chips and queso" coupon on Sunday after church? No, I don't think I do.

And do I want it so bad that I would choose a boring dressing-less salad at Fish Bones rather than having the heavenly Bang-Bang shrimp that I have a FREE COUPON FOR? Nope...I doubt it.

Ugh. This is really making me mad.
I mean..are you telling me that these girls who have insanely lean bodies (for instance...almost all the other fitness instructors at the gym) NEVER EVER have a slice of pizza? Or a brownie fudge sundae? Or a margarita? Or an order of french fries?
REALLY?
Is it even possible to LIVE a happy life without any of that stuff?
I'm doubtful....

It's WORKING!!!!!!!

Okay...so, it's no surprise that eating right and daily exercise will get the job done-we all KNOW that...so I don't know why I am SO STINKING EXCITED that in the past 10 days of eating right and 24 days of doing P90X daily...that I've lost FOUR POUNDS! That is HUGE to me! I am nearly 1/3 of the way to my goal! (and ironically...almost exactly 1/3 of the way done with P90X too!)
My starting weight was 144. Yesterday's new weight was 140 and the goal is to end up somewhere around 127-130. I have no doubt that I will accomplish what I've set out to do now that I am on the right road. Today (Day 24) is Stretch X and I am really looking forward to giving my muscles (which are in tight balls) and good, relaxing, releasing stretch!

If you're sitting there thinking "man, I wish I could lose 4+ pounds" then JOIN ME! I'm posting my food intake and workouts...so there is no reason you can't copy! :o)

dead scale

So, like I mentioned a couple of weeks ago, the battery in my scale died. I thought it was a 9V so I went out and bought a new one...and when I went to put it in...I found out it's one of those CR23 watch batteries instead...so I STILL don't have a working scale.
I'm not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing.
One thing is for sure, it is FORCING me to rely on how my clothes are fitting and how I'm FEELING to tell if I am getting any results.
So far, my clothes aren't fitting much differently but I do feel a bit lighter and definitely more optimistic about the future. Matt told me last night that he is REALLY proud and surprised at my willpower lately. Yay! That means a TON to me. If he can see a difference (in what I'm choosing to eat) then I must be doing something right...better...good!
Anyway, I probably will try to get a battery for the scale sometime soon so I can get an actual number (because I need that proof-as silly as it is).
Even though I've been doing P90X again for 3 whole weeks...I've really only been eating right for 1 week...so I don't expect a huge loss yet...however, I DO expect a significant loss by the end (as long as I keep this good eating up--and I AM GOING TO!) :o)
The first time I did P90X, I lost 17 pounds total. I'm thinking that sounds like a great number again. Let's see...starting weight was 144.4...minus 17 pounds...would put me at 127.4...which sounds perfect! Cheer me on peeps...I need to stay motivated somehow!

Days 17-22 and Meal Plan

Day 17-Wednesday-Shoulders & Arms and Ab Ripper, ate good
Day 18-Thursday-Cardio X, ate good
Day 19-Friday-Went to gym. Did step class, pump class and Zumba class, ate good
Day 20-Saturday-Did nothing for exercise, ate awful
Day 21-Sunday, Did nothing, ate okay
Day 22-Monday (Today), I am starting my 4th week, recovery week. Since I know I have a crazy schedule this week I am altering the plan a bit. Today I will do Core Synergistics. Tomorrow I have the gym. Wednesday I will do X-Stretch. Thursday I'm teaching 2 classes at the gym, Friday I will do Core Synergistics again. Saturday I'll either do CardioX or go to the gym.

Here is the MEAL PLAN for this next week:

Monday:
B: Turkey sausage scramble (with egg whites), and toast for Matt (not me)
S: Light string cheese and apple
L: Open faced (1 bread for me, 2 for matt) tuna sandwich, yogurt
S: Protein bar
D: Grilled turkey burgers, baked beans, baked sweet potato fries

Tuesday:
B: Kashi oatmeal (and toast for Matt-not me)
S: Almonds and banana
L:Deli wrap (deli turkey, provolone, lettuce with greek yogurt as "dressing", raw veggies
S: Apple
D: Turkey sloppy joes (I'll eat mine open-faced), I don't know what sides yet

Wednesday:
B: Veggie omelet, turkey bacon, toast for Matt
S: Peanut Butter, almond, banana roll up (with whole wheat tortilla)
L: Turkey sandwich, pepper strips, yogurt
S: Apple
D: Turkey spaghetti, veggie, salad

Thursday:
B: French toast (from egg whites and light whole wheat bread), turkey bacon, SF syrup
S: String cheese, apple
L: Chicken salad, Kashi 7-grain crackers, Mousse Sensations chocolate pudding
S: Protein bar
D: Baked fish, baked potato, steamed veggies, salad

Friday:
B: Veggie omelet, turkey bacon, toast for matt
S: apple, almonds
L: Peanut Butter & Jelly Sandwich, chips? (I'm trying to get some of those Pop chips)
S: Banana, protein bar
D: probably eat out

rant

okay so I'm going off on a rant right now...indulge me.
I just realized something about myself. It's no big "ah ha" moment ...but this morning I posted a picture of myself on face book. It wasn't a good picture. It was a "right now" picture...meaning it was straight from bed. All I'd done is brushed my teeth and peed. No make up, no hair brush and still in my nightgown. Blah. I was showing everyone the "real" me. Instead of people laughing or poking fun at me...everyone was saying things like "gorgeous" and "beautiful" and "pretty"...to which my mouth just hung open.
If I could use some words to describe that picture, I would have said "messy, frumpy, undone". No, I didn't think it was a horrible picture, but I certainly didn't think "gorgeous".
So I started thinking about it...and something dawned on me...and as stupid as this is...I seriously think it.
When people say I'm pretty, I think to myself "if that were true, why didn't anyone ask me to senior prom?" "Why didn't but one guy in my entire high school ever ask me out?" "why did I always feel sorry for the guys I dated, because I always knew they could do so much better"
How RIDICULOUS is that?
Why am I like this? Weird.
I guess I'd rather have a skewed view of myself this way than to think I'm "all that and a bag of chips". :o) Being cocky is definitely NOT attractive.
I guess the thing that maybe makes me so different now than when I was in high school is a huge change in my confidence. Back then I was like a wounded, scared-to-death little puppy dog following everyone else and afraid to EVER have ANY attention on me.
Now I'm comfortable with who I am, how I look and what I have to offer people. I know that THROUGH CHRIST, I can do anything and I refuse to let fear, pride, embarrassment or shame rob me of any of life's pleasures or experiences.

okay...don't really know where all that came from or why in the world I posted it....:o) Maybe some of you needed to read it...!?!?

Day 15 & 16

Yesterday (Monday) was Day 15 and the first day of my meal plan (in previous post). Everything went great! I did Chest & Back right before I had to pick the kids up from school so I kept the TV (in the workout room) paused on Ab Ripper so I could complete it when I got home. uhhh...yah...I really meant to. The problem is that we workout upstairs....and I never went back up stairs yesterday so I HONESTLY completely forgot all about Ab Ripper. Bummer! I wanted to do it to!
Anyway, I ate all the food on my "plan" yesterday and not a bite more or less. I actually ended up having my afternoon snack after dinner because we ate dinner very early yesterday and then I was hungry at around 7:30 and I hadn't had my 2nd snack, so I had it then (which it was a banana and 10 almonds).
We even went to Braums last night for ice cream and I had NOTHING. :o) yay!

Today (Tuesday) is Day 16 and I went to a pump/ball class at the gym and then taught my boot camp class. Tried something a little new today and I think it worked. We split up into 2 groups and while one group was doing a circuit on the floor, the other group did a circuit using the step and then we switched. (40 minute intervals followed by 20 seconds recovery). I thought it was a lot of fun and nice to do something different for a change--plus a GREAT workout!
Anyway, that's my workout for today. I just finished my lunch (oops! eating late! it's 2:37 right now) and it was SOOO good! Wow, I forgot how much I liked tuna! I mean...it never sounds good when I think of it...but I don't think I've ever put it in my mouth and NOT enjoyed it. Today I mixed it up with just a teensy bit of light mayo, a drop of dijon mustard and a glob of dill relish and sprinkled with pepper. Then I toasted a slice of light whole wheat bread and put the tuna on top and then topped that with shredded romaine and ate it with a fork. YUM! I also ate my sliced apple with it (instead of chips) and that was the perfect sweet crunch alternating between my sour/salty tuna bites. YUMMO!
I'm excited that tonight I get to relax in my clean house (cleaned Friday and again today) while the yard is beautifully mowed (mowed yesterday) and eat the dinner that I've already prepared (this afternoon-taco soup) and watch a movie I've been waiting to see for like SIX MONTHS! It's "Letters to Juliet" and I've heard wonderful things about it. I can't wait to see it--and to RELAX!

Days 10-14 and MEAL PLAN

Blah..I haven't been doing good at keeping this blog updated. Here is a quick rundown of the last 5 days:
Wednesday: Did Shoulders & Arms and Ab Ripper.
Thursday: Taught boot camp/weights class at the gym in lieu of YogaX.
Friday: Was supposed to be Back & Legs. Since I had just worked legs really heavy on Thursday (and abs) I decided to just do some back exercises on my own and a few leg things rather than doing the actual dvd. I also cleaned house for about 6 hours straight.
Saturday: Had a meeting at church at 9 am so I went to that and then afterwards hit the gym for an hour long Zumba class.
Sunday: Did nothing in the way of exercise...but did have a serious talk with Matt about my weight/eating habits. Decided to sit down and write out a meal plan for this week (like I used to in the good old days) and then went to Sam's Club and Wal-Mart and purchased $150 worth of produce, whole grains, protein bars, lean turkey, fish, greek yogurt, almonds, etc.
Since it will help hold me accountable AND some of you have expressed that you like me to post my meal plans, I am going to type it all out on here. Sorry it's sort of long and boring...but if you're struggling with eating healthy...you might benefit from copying this plan and trying it. For my portions, I typically eat 4 oz. of meat and 1/2-1 c. servings of veggies. For Matt, since he is not wanting to lose any more weight, I give him about twice as much meat, the same veggies and I sometimes add in an extra carb. (for instance, he has toast with his breakfast and I don't).
I'm trying to stick to around 1, 500 calories a day. Normally I would aim for more like 1,200 when I'm trying to lose weight...but I know that I am doing a lot of exercising right now and I need more than that to keep my energy/protein/fiber levels up. :o)
Matt's diet is around 3,000 calories a day.

Monday:
Breakfast:
Me: Veggie omelet (peppers, onions, tomatoes, egg whites), 1 slice turkey bacon.
Matt: Veggie omelet (peppers, onions, tomatoes, eggs, cheese), 2 turkey bacon, 1 WW toast.
Snack: String cheese; small apple
Lunch:
Me: Chef Salad (romaine, spring mix, spinach, turkey, cheese, tomatoes, bell pepper), light dressing, 1/2 c. yogurt mixed with fresh blueberries and strawberries.
Matt: Chef Salad as above but with croutons, more turkey and cheese and 8 Ritz crackers, 1/2 c. yogurt (no berries).
Snack: 10 whole natural almonds, small banana
Dinner: Marinated grilled chicken breast, brown rice, asparagus, salad

Tuesday:
Breakfast: Kashi oatmeal (Matt will have toast with his).
Snack: WW tortilla with 1/2 banana, slivered almonds and natural peanut butter all rolled up.
Lunch:
Me: Open faced (1 bread) Tuna sandwich, bell pepper strips, apple.
Matt: Tuna sandwich (2 bread and more tuna than me) , bell pepper strips, apple.
Snack: Protein bar
Dinner: Taco Soup (I can post recipe if anyone wants. It is very healthy as long as you eat it withOUT tortilla chips, gobs of shredded cheese and sour cream.) Matt will probably have the chips, cheese and sc....I won't.

Wednesday:
Breakfast:
Me: Spinach scramble (egg whites mixed w/ fresh spinach leaves & FF mozerella), turkey bacon
Matt: Spinach scramble (whole eggs mixed w/ fresh spinach leaves & FF mozerella), 2 turkey bacon, 1 WW toast
Snack: String cheese, small apple
Lunch: Turkey sandwich (me: 1 bread), pepper strips, 1/2 c. yogurt w/ berries.
Snack: 10 Almonds, small banana (Matt takes about 20 almonds)
Dinner: Turkey meatloaf, baked potato, green beans, salad

Thursday:
Breakfast: Veggie & spinach omelet, turkey bacon (Matt will have 2 bacon, toast and cheese)
Snack: Peanut Butter, almond, 1/2 banana roll up (in whole wheat tortilla)
Lunch:
Me: Left over meatloaf, green beans, salad
Matt: Turkey sandwich, chips (?)
Snack: Protein bar, small apple
Dinner: Baked flounder, broccoli soup, baked sweet potato, salad

Friday:
Breakfast: Triple Berry Pancakes, turkey sausage (Matt will have regular syrup, I will have Sugar Free. He'll have 3 sausage links, I'll have 1 or 2)
Snack: Apple, almonds
Lunch: Chicken Ranch Roll up, pepper strips, 1/2 c. yogurt w/ berries.
Snack: Protein bar
Dinner: Grilled turkey burgers, P90X coleslaw, vegetarian beans.

By the way: No soda to drink. Tea or water. We will have 1 cup of coffee in the mornings. Also, in the evenings if we get hungry, we may share a protein shake around 7 or 8 pm. (We eat dinner pretty early--usually around 5:30).

As for workouts:
Monday: (today) Chest & Back and Ab Ripper.
Tuesday: Classes at the gym (weights and boot camp)
Wednesday: Shoulders & Arms and Ab Ripper
Thursday: Either Yoga X or Cardio X or Plyo X...not sure??
Friday: Legs & Back and Ab Ripper
Saturday: Either go to gym for kickboxing and zumba or I'll do Plyo X.

Day 9

Today is Day 9. Since it's Tuesday, I went to the gym for a weights class and then taught my Boot Camp class (Insanity style today). I was wearing a light heather gray tank top and by the time I left the gym, it was DARK charcoal gray---meaning I was SOAKED. Yay--good workout!!

The bummer is that with this schedule, I'm not ever getting to do the P90X Plyometrics workout because it falls on Tuesday--which is my heavy gym day. Not that I miss it..that thing is killer! BUT...I do recognize the benefits I get from doing it...so I really want to figure out a way to add it back in. I'm thinking maybe I'll replace Thursday's Yoga video with it. But then that's a lot of leg work..and Legs & Back is the next day...so that's not really good. Hmm....maybe I could do it on Saturday in place of Kenpo (which I do NOT like). I don't know...I'm gonna have to figure it out though.

Anyway, now I've gotta really get focused on getting the eating back in line. I was doing great..then had the whole typical "Labor Day Weekend" food and messed up a bit. I am ready to get back to my P90X Nutrition Guide STRICTLY.

I tried to weigh myself today to see if I've made any progress with my weight. OF COURSE...of all the times...when I stepped on the scale all it said was "low batt". Blah! Now I'll have to wait until I can get to the store and buy a new 9V battery. I guess I can look on the bright side...now I have a few more days to drop more weight! :o)

can I admit

out loud to everyone that I am totally TICKED OFF about having to do a workout today? First of all...I'm just irritated today anyway. It's Labor Day and it should be a day OFF from the norm, right? But it hasn't been. It's been a boring, lazy, blah day and all I've done is cook, wash dishes, do laundry, do my work, clean up, pay bills, etc. BLAH! Then on top of it, I feel zapped of any energy. I'm pretty sure that is mostly due to a lack of having something to do. Sitting around trying to figure out what we might want to do ALL DAY LONG but not actually doing anything is one of my LEAST favorite things in the WORLD. It's like I wake up thinking "woohoo! we have a whole day to do anything we want" and instead of actually doing anything, we WASTE the entire day trying to think of something and before we know it, the day is over and we're going to bed having done nothing. Yep, that's how this day is playing out.
And I know I'm being a whiny baby...but I am really SICK of doing workouts at home all by myself (Matt's just not into it right now) and the kids act like they're irritated that I'm doing it. "mom...do you HAVE to do that? ugh!"
Furthermore...whether I work out or not, I am not losing any weight! That makes me want to scream and punch something! I know it's the dad-gum food intake that's killing me but I'm also SICK and tired of trying to cook something healthy that everyone in the house won't complain about. I can already tell from doing P90X for one week that my muscle tone is looking better (awesome)...but I don't think I've lost a pound. (which shouldn't be a big surprise seeing as how I've had like 3 cheat days in the past 7 days!).
Okay, I am seriously having a big pity party and I know it. I need to get up from here and get some endorphins pumping.
C-ya!

Days 5, 6 , 7 and 8

Okay, let's see...Friday was Day 5. I did Legs & Back and Ab Ripper X. Did good on eating. Told my daughter that I think I've eaten a salad every day for about 2 weeks now! HA!

Saturday was Day 6. Made pancakes for breakfast since that is one of the very few things my daughter can actually eat (after having her tonsils out). I ate 1 1/2 with sugar free syrup. Then I did CardioX before heading to my parents house for a Labor Day cookout where I ate 1 hotdog (no bun), potato salad, coleslaw, beans, dessert. Didn't do good on eating at ALL. :-(

Sunday we stayed home from church because Brooklyn was still not feeling well and decided to walk over to our neighbor's pond and do a little fishing. I was the first one to catch a fish-yay! After that we came home and I did all the push-mowing while Matt did weed-eating and the riding mower. I ended up getting SUNBURNED and didn't do StretchX even though I really wanted to because my body REALLY needs it...but we took a shower, ate left overs for dinner and watched The Man From Snowy River and then went to bed.

Today, Monday (Labor Day) is Day 8. It's P90X Chest & Back and Ab Ripper X again. I guess I'll do that right now before I take a shower and then head to Walmart for groceries for this upcoming week. Blah. I'm bummed out that we aren't doing anything fun today...but Matt is on call and can't really leave the house, plus Brooklyn is still post-surgery and is having to take pain meds every 3-4 hours, so she's not really up to going anywhere either. I'm really in a funk so I'm sure I'll feel MUCH better after doing my workout!

Day 4

Wow..this was a BUSY day! I got up early this morning to take my 9 yr old daughter to the hospital to have her tonsils and adenoids removed. Because of all the ruckus of the morning, I didn't have time to eat breakfast. I drank my coffee on the way to the hospital. After we got her into surgery, the nurse offered me and Matt a snack and a drink. It was mostly all muffins and danishes but there were a few TLC Kashi granola bars (140 cal) so I took one of those with a Diet Mt. Dew. By the time I finished a LARGE coffee and that Diet Mt. Dew I was shaking bad (plus all the freakiness of seeing your child in a hospital bed didn't help). Anyway, after we left the hospital, we stopped at Arby's to get her a shake and I knew I needed to eat something so I ordered the Chicken Club Market Fresh sandwhich. I'm sure it wasn't "great" but all it had on it was deli-style chicken breast, lettuce, tomato and cheese on toasted sandwhich bread (and a small dollop of ranch dressing). It was yummy. On the way home, the gym called and asked if I could teach 2 fitness classes that evening. At first I was gonna say "no" since I needed to be home taking care of Brooklyn, but then I remembered Matt AND my mom were there so she'd be fine. I said yes and went to the gym and taught a 30 minute ball-abs class and a 45 minute pump (weights) class.

When I got home I had 2 bowls of salad at my moms house (lettuce, grilled chicken, hard-boiled egg white, tomato, croutons and light ranch dressing).

After a shower,(I was EXHAUSTED) we watched the movie Marmaduke and I slowly nibbled on a single white chocolate chip cookie. I didn't mean to eat the whole thing, but I kept picking off tiny piece after tiny piece until it was all gone. Oh well...I think I did fine anyway.

I had FULLY intended on doing the YogaX video today, but since I taught 2 classes at the gym and was go-go-going all day, I just couldn't do an hour and a half yoga video TOO. Oh well. :o)

One thing about it...I just gotta go with the flow and do the best that I can.

Tomorrow is P90X Legs & Back with Ab Ripper and I'm totally looking forward to it!

Day 3

Today was Shoulders & Arms......and I just wanna say that I LOVE THAT WORKOUT! It has to be one of my very favorites. No push ups! No jumping! No pull ups! Woohoo! Plus, I LOVE the intense burn I get in my entire upper body from that routine! Mmmm-hmmmm!! Good Stuff!

I'll admit, I didn't get Ab Ripper done and my excuse is lame. Basically I waited until too late in the day and ran out of time. By the time I was about to do it, I knew that if I did...there was NO WAY I was going to be able to get showered and ready and make it to our dinner reservations at 6 pm...so I just had to say "oh well" this time. If it counts any...I did a lot of abs yesterday and my body probably needed a break anyway. :-)

Tonight we took our daughter on a very fancy date to a super nice restaurant. I tried to order smart, but who really knows!?! I got the Lite Filet Mignon. It was 4 or 6 oz. I believe. TINY. Haha Matt got the Ribeye and it looked gigantic next to my little chunck of meat! We shared some pototoes and asparagus as our sides. We had planned on getting a dessert to share (the 3 of us) since this was a special occasion for Brooklyn...but we ended up being too full and didn't get one afterall, so that was good.

Later on though at home, I had a 100% fruit grape popsicle.

The rest of the day eating was good. I had a 1 slice of wheat toast with 1 turkey sausage for breakfast with my coffee.

For lunch I made an AMAZING salad. It had romaine lettuce, sliced grapes, walnuts, grilled chicken, diced avacado, croutons and light sweet spicy French dressing. It was the BOMB! ha ha

I didn't do GREAT on eating today, but I know for a FACT that I did a lot better than I would "normally"...I mean FORMERLY do!

Tomorrow I can get back to strict P90X eating again and I'm actually looking forward to it because, crazy as it is, I feel like I'm already starting to shape up again and that is SO encouraging!

I hope you're doing well with your fitness/health journey! How about you jot me a note and let me know you are reading!?!? Thanks!

Here are a few pix from tonight I thought I'd share with you, even though they have nothing to do with fitness: This first one is of me and my daughter, Brooklyn after our fancy-schmancy dinner date!

This one is of me and Matt trying on some masks at Pier 1. Fun!