Okay...this is BUGGING the CRUD out of me and while I run the risk of sounding like I'm whining again...I've decided to do it anyway. I mean..this IS my blog where I can say whatever I want, right? :)
So...today someone made a comment about me that is realllllly bothering me. I mean....MAJORLY. I know she didn't mean it in a bad way (or at least I don't think she did) and I'm sure she has no idea what a big deal to me it was. Here's the deal:
At class today I mentioned that I came in feeling a bit discouraged and exhausted...BUT...now, AFTER the great workout we just did...that I felt totally encouraged and great and energetic!!!
But.......before I got the "BUT" part out...she said "Jennifer, you are ALWAYS down and discouraged."
It took me by such surprise that I hesitated in the middle of my sentence and then said the rest to try to prove my point in WHY I even said it in the first place (which is that exercise is such a great way to turn lethargy into energy).
Of course, as the devil would have us to do...and as our brains like to do...I have (seemingly) forgotten all the thousands of wonderful comments and great things people have said about me and I'm magnifying this one comment way more than I should be. I just keep thinking, "REALLY????? Seriously? OMG! Do I come across that way??-as a down and discouraged, sad and depressed person?"
SURELY not! How could that be possible when I am really SO SO SO SO HAPPY!?
I mean, sure...I'm human, I have my days of feeling a bit whah-whah every month. What woman doesn't?
(bunny trail here)
I remember when Matt and I first got engaged. We went to marriage counseling and we had to fill out a questionairre. One of the questions was "What is one personality trait that you despise?" Without a second thought, I wrote down "laziness".
If I were to take that quiz again today I would add the word "defeat".
Everybody gets discouraged sometimes.......but I HATE to see people walk around with their heads hung in defeat. Unless you're not a Christian. If you're not a believer.....then I completely understand why you'd feel that way. BUT ...if you know Jesus as your savior..then you NEVER EVER have an excuse to feel defeated. JESUS defeated the devil. He won the battle for you and while He didn't promise us a perfect life (in fact, He specifically said IN THIS WORLD YOU WILL HAVE TROUBLES) ......BUT...the next part of that verse says BUT TAKE HEART!!! FOR I HAVE OVERCOME THE WORLD!!!
Okay so back to what I was talking about....I hate the idea that ANYONE would ever see me that way. How disappointing!
I'm trying to figure out if it's just that one person and the vast majority of everyone else who knows me would disagree...or if I live in a unrealistic bubble and I don't see myself clearly. Maybe I shouldn't be so open and honest about when I'm having a tough day.?!!?.
Argh...I just need to get away from people and electronics and spend some QUALITY time with God. Just me and God and quiet. Yes...that would be HEAVENLY! :)