Philippians 3:12-14 (The Message Bible)

I'm not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don't get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I've got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I'm off and running, and I'm not turning back.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Gotta get it off my chest and FB isn't the place...

Okay...this is BUGGING the CRUD out of me and while I run the risk of sounding like I'm whining again...I've decided to do it anyway. I mean..this IS my blog where I can say whatever I want, right? :) someone made a comment about me that is realllllly bothering me. I mean....MAJORLY. I know she didn't mean it in a bad way (or at least I don't think she did) and I'm sure she has no idea what a big deal to me it was. Here's the deal:

At class today I mentioned that I came in feeling a bit discouraged and, AFTER the great workout we just did...that I felt totally encouraged and great and energetic!!!
But.......before I got the "BUT" part out...she said "Jennifer, you are ALWAYS down and discouraged."

It took me by such surprise that I hesitated in the middle of my sentence and then said the rest to try to prove my point in WHY I even said it in the first place (which is that exercise is such a great way to turn lethargy into energy).

Of course, as the devil would have us to do...and as our brains like to do...I have (seemingly) forgotten all the thousands of wonderful comments and great things people have said about me and I'm magnifying this one comment way more than I should be. I just keep thinking, "REALLY????? Seriously? OMG! Do I come across that way??-as a down and discouraged, sad and depressed person?"
SURELY not! How could that be possible when I am really SO SO SO SO HAPPY!?
I mean, sure...I'm human, I have my days of feeling a bit whah-whah every month. What woman doesn't?
(bunny trail here)
I remember when Matt and I first got engaged. We went to marriage counseling and we had to fill out a questionairre. One of the questions was "What is one personality trait that you despise?" Without a second thought, I wrote down "laziness".
If I were to take that quiz again today I would add the word "defeat".
Everybody gets discouraged sometimes.......but I HATE to see people walk around with their heads hung in defeat. Unless you're not a Christian. If you're not a believer.....then I completely understand why you'd feel that way. BUT ...if you know Jesus as your savior..then you NEVER EVER have an excuse to feel defeated. JESUS defeated the devil. He won the battle for you and while He didn't promise us a perfect life (in fact, He specifically said IN THIS WORLD YOU WILL HAVE TROUBLES) ......BUT...the next part of that verse says BUT TAKE HEART!!! FOR I HAVE OVERCOME THE WORLD!!!

Okay so back to what I was talking about....I hate the idea that ANYONE would ever see me that way. How disappointing!
I'm trying to figure out if it's just that one person and the vast majority of everyone else who knows me would disagree...or if I live in a unrealistic bubble and I don't see myself clearly. Maybe I shouldn't be so open and honest about when I'm having a tough day.?!!?.
Argh...I just need to get away from people and electronics and spend some QUALITY time with God. Just me and God and quiet. Yes...that would be HEAVENLY! :)


Gina said...

I don't know you personally, but you don't come accross that way via blogging. Blogging is a way to vent, as well as share your successes & life's journey & you've done all of the above. Sometimes people make comments like that when they think of themselves that way and/or feel the need to knock someone down to puff their own chests. In the spectrum of life it doesn't really matter what she thinks already know that (& I can empathize with it sticking with you). Keep your chin up!

MsByn said...

I would never think of you as down and depressed/defeated. Even when you lost your job, you handled it with such grace and positive thinking. I can't imagine why someone would have that perception, but maybe its just their own issue.

The worst 'judgement call' I've ever had was when I had a couple people over the years assume that my husband must be abusive or something, which always bothered me to the extreme because it is the farthest possible thing from the truth... but I always found out in hindsight that was something that THEY were struggling with in their own relationship and were struggling to find someone else to relate to. Maybe that is the case with you?

At any rate... I think you're awesome:)

rene said...

don't let it bother you :)
Hope u get your HEAVENLY time with God :) He can erase that from your thoughts in no time :)

KC said...

Whoever said that must NOT know the same Jenni (who happens to be my bestest friend in the whole wide wordl)! You are the most UPBEAT, ENERGETIC, POSITIVE person I know! Sure we all struggle with "down days", but you and I always find a silver lining and remind each other of that.
Girl, you must be doing God's will, and reaching people, otherwise that ugly ol' devil wouldn't be trying so hard to get you down.
Head up! Praise God for his blessings, and know you are TRULY LOVED by ALL of us who really know you. :)

Gwen said...

hmmm...I may not know you as well as some, but I'm thinking this person doesn't get you! You are happy and your face shows it:) Personally, I am encouraged when women are REAL about the struggles we face and how we counquer them through Him!! If you never mentioned being discouraged or down, well then I might not think you were real-but when you do mention it you talk about how you overcome! It helps to know that others deal with the same attacks I do. Thank you for being real and sharing that you are affected by what people say(this is also a big deal for me!!) I will pray for you (as I pray for myself) that we will continue to listen to what our Father says about us-because all He says is true! WE are blessed!!
Psalm 84:4 AMP
Blessed (happy, fortunate, to be envied) are those who dwell in Your house and Your presence; they will be singing Your praises all the day long. Selah [pause, and calmly think of that]!